Home > FAQs

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Family Mediation?

Family Mediation is a way of supporting you to make your own decisions when a relationship is over. Mediation minimises the conflict between you and your former spouse/partner. It offers an opportunity to sort out practical family arrangements with the help of an impartial trained mediator, particularly during separation or divorce. It is quicker and cheaper than other ways to resolve matters following separation and divorce.

Do both parties have to agree to come to mediation before it will work?

No. You can come on your own to begin with. Once you have decided whether or not you wish to use mediation we can take responsibility for contacting your ex-partner, offering him or her exactly the same opportunity to hear about mediation and decide whether to use it.

Who are the mediators?

All our mediators are trained by National Family Mediation (NFM) or a similar body and spend around 2 years as trainees before becoming accredited. Their competence is then assessed, and they are authorised by the Legal Services Commission. NFM is a full member of the Family Mediation Council, the body that sets standards for mediation services in the UK. Mediators come from a variety of professional backgrounds - please click on the following link to view more about our mediators.

Our Mediators

Who can use Family Mediation?

Any family member. It does not matter whether you are married or not, have children or not, or are in a same sex relationship. Family members other than the couple may use mediation to arrange how to keep in touch with children, siblings, grand-children etc

Can children be involved?

Indirectly children are involved in most mediation, where their views and likely effects upon them are considered very carefully by their parents.

However, we are also able to involve the children more directly so that they have a chance to express their views about the situation. They are seen by mediators who are specially trained in talking directly with children. A full explanation and safeguards to protect the child/ren are built-in before a mediator will agree to a ‘direct consultation’ with a child. We have a specific leaflet giving information about listening to your children. Please contact us and ask for a copy.

Does Family Mediation really work?

Not always. Mediation is not a magic wand. However, when people have a chance to be heard and taken seriously something almost magical can happen: they find themselves thinking around the problem and finding creative solutions. In 75% of cases our clients agree on issues in dispute. We find that even when people cannot agree they are always clearer about where the other person is coming from and have usually found some common ground and narrowed the field of difference. So the dispute becomes easier to solve by other means.

How much does Family Mediation cost?

Possibly nothing. At the first free meeting, you will be invited to complete an assessment from which may qualify you for publicly funded mediation. If you do qualify it will cost you nothing. For those who do not qualify there is a scale of charges based on your income. Please see link to COST page for details of our charges. This fee includes the work of the mediator and all administration costs. National Audit Office statistics show where mediation is combined with legal advice costs are on average HALF that of cases where legal advice only is used.

Do I still need a solicitor?

It is often beneficial to see a mediator first, but you will then need your own legal advice to ensure that you make fully-informed decisions. Your solicitor will also prepare orders for the court based on your proposals.

A list of solicitors is available from our office, if you are unable to find one yourself then please click on the following link for additional assistance
Legal Advice

Is Family Mediation just for people who have recently separated?

Family mediation can help at any time: whilst a separation is being planned, after the breakup, or sometimes months or years down the line when people want resolution for new or outstanding issues.

Is mediation suitable if conflict is very high or good will very low?

Mediators are skilled at helping people discuss important issues where conflict or emotions are running high. The most important thing is to ensure you have been heard: if people are not heard and taken seriously they cannot think creatively about how to solve problems. Our adversarial legal system encourages polarisation of arguments and this often increases conflict. Mediation gives you a way of having your point of view integrated into the discussion.

Is mediation only suitable when conflict is high?

Mediation can help guide you through a thorough decision-making process, helping you to be sure you have thought through all the pros and cons of different options.

Do people need to be willing to compromise in order to benefit from mediation?

No. People need to be prepared to listen, to talk about what they want to achieve, and to think through the different options and how they would work. Mediation works by expanding the pool of different possibilities: it is not a bargaining operation between two set positions.

Is mediation appropriate for those on high incomes or with high assets?

Mediation can work for all, in tandem with appropriate legal and financial advice. It is often incorrect to think that a lawyer will ‘get you the best deal’, on the basis that the other party’s lawyer will be making the same attempt. People with high assets can spend large sums if they only use the adversarial legal system.

Can mediation work where there is a ‘power imbalance’ or difference with regard to financial knowledge?

Mediation ensures that each person is properly heard and understood and fully understands the facts and consequences of any options under consideration.

Do people have to choose mediation or solicitor negotiation at the outset?

No, you can move between one and the other. For example, if you have explored the financial facts (assets, debts, income) and options in mediation but are stuck about what decisions should be made you can take the work you have done in mediation to your solicitors. This will make it much easier (and therefore less expensive) for your solicitor to resolve matters.